Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Soapbox city (days after everyone else got here)

Okay. So I know I am way behind the bandwagon here, but I can't help it. Bandwagons have never been my favorite mode of transportation and news bores me. Maybe if they had a mime or something instead of that annoying scroll bar thing on news stations I could totally get on board. *

I just read an article on the Gulf oil spill. Yup. Just now.

The spill started on April 20th and we just now got a cap on it? And the "long term plan" includes the words "jam it with dirt and cement."

I have this image in my head of the control room at BP (yes, in my head its this big room that is a cross between the command center of the Starship Enterprise and the control area of Houston in the movie Apollo 13) on the day of the explosion. It goes a little something like this:


(Everyone stares at the giant IMAX-like screen that shows some live feed of the oil well that, up to that second, was doing absolutely nothing.)
"Holy shit! Did you see that?!"
"Oh my god! This is awful! What are we gonna do?!
"Pretend like we didn't see it!"
"Cover it with something!"
"Jam it with dirt and cement!"

That suggestion has to have been one of the first things said in the initial pandemonium. It is too stupid/simple/brilliant not to have been.

Some senator got BP to release live feed video of the spill, which has to be the environmental equivalent of watching paint dry.  And nope, I can't be bothered to figure out exactly which one did because frankly, I don't care. You know the dude who did it is the same kind of dude who calls attention to his own farts just to have something to brag about. And I looked for the video of it online while I was writing this post. I found one that had a big headline "NOW WITH MUSIC". What???!!! It has some vaguely techno-ish Arabian-ish music and I swear I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard. Here it is for your listening pleasure:

Right here.

See. You can't stop laughing either can you?

It makes me kinda sad that with all of the technology and "brilliant minds" that are supposed to be working on this it has taken this long to a) cap it, and b) decide that the best course of action is to plug it up. (I know, I know- its at the bottom of the ocean. Blah, blah, blah.)

I am kinda happy that there is a video feed of this though. I will admit that when they get done with all the testing and finally get around to "jamming it with dirt and cement" I plan on grabbing a snack and watching. Cuz that is gonna be one sweet-ass cement truck.

*disclaimer: If you think that this blog is supposed to be informative or even factually accurate, you may want to have your head examined.

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